Updates Fridays


I gotta say, I’m pretty excited about the huge strides that the private sector has been making in the development of more cost effective rockets. I expect most of you have already heard about the massive breakthrough that Blue Origin made last November when they successfully landed their space vehicle, the New Shepard, after a trip to the thermosphere.

Why is this a big deal, you ask? Well, because it had never been done before. When NASA and other international space agencies launch rockets, they don’t land them again. Landing modules containing crew and cargo are jettisoned to make their own parachute-assisted landings separately from the actual propulsion system, which is allowed to burn up in the atmosphere. But now Blue Origin has figured out how to land and reuse their rockets. Here, check out the video. (snicker)

This really is a revolutionary breakthrough. If you can land and reuse your rockets, it means you can cut down the costs of space travel dramatically. This is the rocket of the future. It’s just throbbing with potential.

I mean, think about it. It can go up into space, then come back down again. Up and down, repeatedly. (giggle)

Blue Origin has stated that their eventual goal is to create a commercial venture out of space travel. People will be able to pay money to ride the space rocket…

Oh God, I can’t do it. I just cant take this seriously. I know this is a huge breakthrough in space travel and everything, but it’s just…it just….

It looks like a penis.

There, I said it. It’s a giant space dick. (Sorry, I meant “thermosphere dick.”)

It’s a massive metal wang, going up and down and back up again. I just can’t…can’t breathe…give me a moment.

Okay, okay, I’m back. I’m fine now, I’ve got it together.

Right. So, this is a big deal. Blue Origin isn’t the only private company which has been working on this problem. SpaceX has been tackling it for a while now too. In fact, the race to be the first company to successfully land a rocket was pretty fierce, with SpaceX managing the feat only about a month after Blue Origin. Here, they have a video too.

The main thing I want to draw your attention to here is the fact that the SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket is longer.

The Falcon 9 is also noticeably less phallic in shape. Which just goes to point out that the New Shepard doesn’t need to be shaped that way.

No, wait, I said I’d take this seriously. Okay, Anna, deep breath.

Anyway, in summation, there are amazing scientific breakthroughs happening in the private sector of space travel. We live in amazing, awe-inspiring times, where anything could happen and the future we imagine in science fiction could actually be just around the corner.

Also, penises are funny.

I think we’ve learned a lot today.